


Desperate

by Zoidwick



Category: Teletubbies - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Crack Treated Seriously, Death, Insanity, Mutual Masturbation, Self-Mutilation, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:36:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoidwick/pseuds/Zoidwick
Summary: Every night the Teletubbies end their day with the Tubby Bye Bye and descend into their home, where the nightly rituals begin.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 6





	Desperate

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack fic. It's also a dark fic. You're warned. It came about as a result of a conversation in a discord server I'm in. Fun times!

Tinky Winky’s smile doesn’t falter one bit as the familiar desperation grows. He manages to keep his eyes focused on the floating camera in front of them all.

The other Teletubbies are doing the same fixed smile, except for Laa Laa. Laa Laa never feigns the smile. Tinky Winky feels a momentary surge of hate for her but remembers where he is and concentrates again.

The blessed Voice Trumpet emerges from the ground. All the Teletubbies, bar Laa Laa, feel an intense flood of happiness, but it is fleeting. It is always fleeting.

“Time to say Tubby Bye Bye,” chirps the Voice Trumpet. “Time to say Tubby Bye Bye.”

The Teletubbies are already in their positions for the All-Seeing Narrator. “Say bye-bye, Tinky Winky!”

Tinky Winky answers back, “Bye-bye!” and dips behind the strategically placed mound of dirt. Even at ten-feet tall, he feels small as soon as he crouches down and waits. The other Teletubbies do the same routine one by one. Tinky Winky has to bite back the urge to sob as he claws at some of the fake bright green grass. He attempts to pull out a clump of plastic flowers nearby to distract himself from his sadness.

He counts down in perfect synchronicity with the others, and they all pop up after a couple of seconds, giggling like naughty little children. He doesn’t even remember what it is to be a child. Laa Laa even ad-libs, “Dipsy,” just to really sell it. Tinky Winky can almost feel the murderous intent radiating from Dipsy. Po simply exaggerates her giggles even more to hide the awkwardness.

They do the crouching goodbye routine again. The floating camera makes its way to the chute into their underground home, and they follow. Not for the first time, Tinky Winky wonders how the flow of time works here. He knows they’ll end up ready to say their penultimate goodbye, but from the perspective of the observer, it will be a blink of an eye. The All-Seeing Narrator called it an “edit.”

Of course, Tinky Winky doesn’t really want to understand; in the end it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. No matter how he’s tried to understand this endless world, he remains powerless.

The Sun Baby starts to descend, giggling away happily. It’s just a hologram. It took them over a hundred years to learn that. Tinky Winky used to derive joy from that baby because at least in this cruel world, there was something innocent and loving, but now it’s just a hollow deception. He hates it.

It’s time to enter their home. The chute is inexplicably magical. It can expand to create a small room near the top, while providing a temporary floor. They take their turn to march to it as the Sun Baby starts heading towards the horizon behind them. With each turn, they wave goodbye to the camera and jump in, immediately moving to the side to make space for the next. Once they’re all there, they pop up again, one by one, for the final goodbyes of the day. Then, the chute opens up properly and they all slide down to home.

_ Blessed relief _ , thinks Tinky Winky.  _ Blessed relief, _ thinks Dipsy.  _ Blessed relief, _ thinks Po. It is only Laa Laa who feels a brief emptiness at the dying of the day, but it soon passes because she remembers it won’t be long before they all get to do it again.

Tinky Winky immediately makes his way to his corner, grabs his red bag, his only source of comfort, and curls up with it clutched tightly against his chest. With a few initial shudders, he starts to sob heavily.

“Oh, Tinky Winky! Stop being so dramatic!” Laa Laa says it in a cheery voice that only serves to make Tinky Winky curl up tighter and ignore her. “It’s not that bad!”

Dipsy and Po glare at Laa Laa.

"Another good day we've had today!" Laa Laa crows with delight. "I can't wait for tomorrow!"

The others have heard those words before. Tinky Winky is coming to the end of his nightly crying fit and while his breathing calms, he stares into space and contemplates the night that is to come. Will he even sleep? Or will it be one of those nights where he relives the earlier days before he learned infinity could be real and not just a concept?

“Shut up, Laa Laa,” says Po, under her breath.

Laa Laa giggles. “Oh, you! It’ll be fine. You know it will.”

“Shut up, Laa Laa!” This time it’s Dipsy. His hands are already trembling and flexing violently.

He looks at Tinky Winky. Tinky Winky twitches and softly strokes his red bag. Dipsy sighs. He knows it won’t be Tinky Winky’s night tonight, and that leaves it to him or Po. Po is staring at Laa Laa with uncharacteristic malevolence.

Laa Laa is giggling away to herself as she goes to the counter to make herself dinner. “Would you all like some Tubby Toast for dinner?”

“Shut up, Laa Laa!”

“Dipsy, there’s really no need to be so rude! I’m only asking if you all want dinner.”

“Just shut up,” says Po. “Just shut up, just shut up-shut up! SHUT UP!”

“Oh, is it going to be one of  _ those _ nights, is it?” Laa Laa rolls her eyes condescendingly. “Honestly, I think all of you need to learn to appreciate what we have, you really do.”

Tinky Winky lets out a low growl and shuts his eyes. Dipsy and Po exchange glances and Po nods to him. The choice is made there and then; tonight is Dipsy’s night to do the deed.

He looks at Laa Laa with a smile and starts to approach her, doing his best to make his fingers threateningly claw-like. It doesn’t quite work but it is enough for Laa Laa to look at them and shake her head.

“Again? Well, if it’s going to keep you all going!” She emphasises it with a giggle.

Dipsy ignores her.

“Now, hold on, Dipsy,” says Laa Laa, standing up and walking to him slowly. Her laughter is almost inane. “At least let me have some Tubby Toast!”

Dipsy ignores her and within a few moments, his hands are around her throat, forcing her to the ground onto her back. Laa Laa can hardly resist; Dipsy is too big and strong. She’s still emitting giggles but they’re slowly turning into gasping little breaths, devoid of jollity and that fake innocent child-like tone.

Dipsy straddles Laa Laa and squeezes harder. His eyes are wide and staring, almost as if he isn’t seeing her at all. It is just routine now.

Tinky Winky opens his eyes and stares at them both. A smile appears on his face and he calmly watches, feeling some vicarious pleasure from the scene. He is too gentle to do it often, but he still enjoys being witness to it.

Laa Laa’s arms thrash about wildly as she grows breathless. The smile is gone, replaced with a wild-eyed look of horror. No matter how much this happens, she will never get used to the pain and seizing in her chest as the final death throes begin.

Within the following minute, Laa Laa is dead.

Dipsy relaxes his fingers and sits back, staring down at her death-touched eyes. Her arms and legs are stretched out; she looks like she is emulating a starfish.

Po emits a satisfied joyful laugh and claps her hands. Peace at last! How wonderful! Tinky Winky’s smile lingers as he slowly turns onto his back, propping himself up against the wall. He focuses on Laa Laa’s body for a good few seconds before he looks away, his smile fading into oblivion.

Dipsy stands up and kicks Laa Laa’s body. Immediately after that, he goes to his own corner of the room and opens up a large closet. Inside it is the Tubby Custard he laces with copious amounts of alcohol he has made from fermenting fuck-knows-what; no one has ever asked. It doesn’t matter as long as everyone benefits from it.

Dipsy drags out the vat of alcoholic Tubby Custard and pushes it to the Tubby Custard dispensing station. He opens the back and pushes it into the reservoir, sets the pipes at the appropriate height and shuts the door. With that, everything is ready. Dipsy pushes the button that causes the giant glass bowl to slide out and stop in the centre of the table. One more button push and the tap lowers over the bowl and with fart-like sounds, the Tubby Custard begins to squirt out.

There is an eruption of joyfulness as both Dipsy and Po shout out, “Tubby Custard!” They don’t even realise they’re doing it; it is an automatic reaction borne from centuries of conditioning. Even Tinky Winky whispers the words as soon as he hears the sound.

At this point, Noo Noo whirs into the room, eyes darting around and settling on Laa Laa’s lifeless body. Noo Noo goes up to it and begins to try and move it; it is, after all, a terrible mess in the middle of the room. Noo Noo’s hose prods at the body, attempting to get enough of a sucking grip to pull it away.

Dipsy looks at the sentient vacuum and shouts out, “Fuck off, Noo Noo. Fuck off!”

Noo Noo immediately leaves with a fearful sucking.

Po looks over to Tinky Winky, the worry descending on her again. She always feels the need to comfort him. At first, it was simple. Just the usual hugs and little cooing noises and stroking his back and cheek to keep him calm. Over time, however, it has morphed into extremes no one could have imagined. There is only so far some tender loving care will go before it loses all potency.

Po smiles gently as she walks over to Tinky Winky and reaches into his red bag to pull out a small knife.

“It’s okay, Tinky Winky,” says Po reassuringly. “Let’s make you feel a little better, shall we?”

Tinky Winky barely registers her voice, but there’s a tiny change in his demeanour. A touch of a smile is there now and his shoulders lower with a relaxed sigh.

Po reaches up to cut off her aerial. Blood spurts from the wound a couple of times, drenching her hand and the circular part she has separated from her body. Some of it lands on Tinky Winky’s inner thigh, causing him to twitch in surprise. Po’s healing kicks in and the blood stops. The aerial begins to regrow as she gets down on her knees in front of Tinky Winky. By the time she is stroking his inner thigh, getting ever closer to his growing purple cock, her aerial is whole again. Immortality has some plus sides.

“Here you go, Tinky Winky,” she says, handing him the circle of her aerial. “Remember, be quick, before the flesh dies.”

Tinky Winky nods absently. His cock is at full readiness and the blood will act as lube. Po leans back in front of him, no longer touching because that was just for the physical sensation. After all, Tinky Winky is gay and there is no one else to experience that with. Dipsy refuses to indulge him even when he’s ridiculously drunk.

“Keep watching, Tinky Winky,” says Po, sitting directly in front of him, ensuring that her belly screen is wholly visible.

She pushes her belly out and her newly grown aerial glows. Her belly screen lights up with spiralling points of light. A moment later, it blinks on to show a heavily muscled naked man caressing a rotund man who leans over to pick up a Tinky Winky costume and begins putting it on. Once he’s all suited up, there’s kissing and hands running over each other’s bodies.

Tinky Winky slips Po’s aerial over his cock and starts moving it up and down, spreading her blood all over his shaft. Soon, he has a rhythm going. His breathing turns into gasping moans and little delicious hitches that make Po wet. Keeping her belly screen as still as she can for his lustful eyes, she touches herself to the rhythm of his breathing. Mingled in with those rhythms are the sounds of the Tubby Custard dispenser filling the last bowl up.

Dipsy glances over at the two masturbating Teletubbies and wonders whether he’ll get to fuck Po tonight. That’s a question for later. For now, there is the Custard and his hunger. He begins to suck the Custard through the helical straw that makes up the bowl itself, the pink filling the tube with surprising speed.

Po’s screen shows the muscled man pounding the Tinky Winky-costume-wearing man as hard as he can, and Tinky Winky can almost feel the cock inside himself. The ache builds hard and his eyes close as his imagination runs further than the video shows; the heat of the hard cock, the smell of sweat lingering in the air, the grunts and moans and the sheer power of the cock stretching his asshole wide. In his head, Tinky Winky is just a fucktoy being abused to within an inch of his miserable life.

He cums hard, spurting purple cum onto his thighs and the floor between his legs. His long drawn out grunt triggers Po’s orgasm. She lets out a high-pitched cry punctuated by the jerking of her body. Her screen flickers off in time to her orgasm ending.

They both lay there, hands stroking themselves as their breathing returns to normal. Tinky Winky sighs with temporary contentment and Po stands up as Dipsy staggers over to them, carrying a bowl full of alcoholic Tubby Custard for each. They both accept the bowls and immediately consume the Custard.

Within minutes, they are all sprawled out on the floor, utterly drunk. Little whimpers and moans emit from their throats as they occasionally cry. It is the long middle of the night now.

The only interruption is the sudden, horrible gasp exploding from Laa Laa’s throat; if that sound had a physical body, it would no doubt be hanging from a cliff-edge and scrambling for purchase.

The others look at her, but it doesn’t matter now; they’re too far gone to care. They’ve had their peace and now they have their delirious escape.

Laa Laa sits up, gasping for breath and rubbing her neck as it heals. She looks at the others and smiles widely.

“Well, that was quite something!” She says it with a little giggle, but the joy is missing from it.

She stands up, noting they won’t reply. That’s okay. She’s used to it now. As long as she’s happy, what does she care what they do? She fills a bowl with the alcoholic Tubby Custard for herself and happily slurps it up. It is time for a wonderful drunken sleep.

Within the hour, they are all snoozing happily. The nightly routine is done.

The next day dawns. The All-Seeing Narrator is back. The Sun Baby begins to ascend.

The Teletubbies wake to the sound of the Voice Trumpets coming to life. Tinky Winky, Dipsy and Po all get up and steel themselves for what is coming; another repeat of the day before. Centuries of this, over and over. Laa Laa is already cheery and giggling to herself, teetering on the edge of insanity.

They make their way to the surface, for the Teletubby song is about to begin.

It’s time to say: “Eh oh!”


End file.
